What I need to give up in order to be happy
Oh the ever elusive search for total control over our lives. We always tell ourselves that we can handle it all – that we can get it all together and then we’ll have full control.
Who do we think we are – God? I don’t know about you, but I certainly can’t control the weather, the traffic, the moods of others, the line at the grocery s
tore… No, I’m not God, nor am I a puppet master. I am not able to predict things or control things outside of myself. This includes the people around me. And if I were able to control everyone else, that would be kind of creepy and very manipulative.
When you relinquish the need to control everything, you wind up being able to experience life a little bit more. Take this bit of advice coming from a control freak: sometimes it’s nice to just let go. Not of everything – I didn’t say space out – but of just the things that deep down are out of your control. Take a deep breath (or a few) and tell yourself “peace begins with me.”
Complaining just to COMPLAIN
Oh the ever so resilient complaint – no matter how great life is, we always seem to find one teensy, weensy thing that could be “better”.
- If I could just get a dollar more an hour, life would be perfect.
- If my hair would just stay straight/stay curly, everything would be perfect.
- If there was just an extra hour in the day, I could get it all done.
- If they just learned how to to drive, we wouldn’t have so many accidents!
- If I could just drop 5 more pounds, I would never ask for anything ever again.
- If I could just have a baby, I would be happy – life would be perfect.
How many of us have uttered these things? Go ahead – raise your hand. No one’s looking! I know I’ve uttered every single one of these phrases – some more often than others.
And let’s face it – no one’s life is perfect. All of us have these little areas that could use tweaking. In some cases, these little tweaks are necessary and can improve our lives significantly. Most of the time, though, we don’t really need the things that we’re complaining about. I think often times we pick our lives to pieces and complain because we’re so busy playing the comparison game. And that’s a completely different battle in and of itself (we’ll tackle that in a later blog)
If you truly want to be happy, you’ll have to stop the complaining, or at least cut back significantly. It’s very difficult to see the rainbow if you’re only focused on the rain. And who wants to see the rain when you can see beautiful colors?? Here we are – alive, breathing, working, cultivating, moving, speaking, hearing – all things that we take for granted. All of those things make up the beautiful rainbow in our world. But yet, instead of reveling in the gorgeousness, we are looking at the rain by complaining about all these things we wish we could change.
So I’m going to level with you – it’s time to cut the complaining. If you stop long enough and just be present and acknowledge everything in your life that is going right, you’ll be surprised at how much happiness you can find. And for those of you who insist that it’s not possible, then I have this much to say to you: if you’re not happy, then do something about it. Action speaks louder (and gets more done) than words.
If you don’t like something and want to get out of it, then get out of it! If you’re unhappy with something and have the ability to change it, then change it. I understand that not everything has a simple solution, but sometimes we are our most stubborn enemy! If we just got out of our own way, we could create the world we’re looking for. But if you’re staying in a situation and continuing to complain, then a) you’re choosing your pain and b) it’s just plain unhealthy.
Remember this: holding onto your grievances only blocks the love and happiness from entering your life. If you can learn to look for the rainbows and the stars, you will attract the love into your life. ❤️